Can’t stop thinking about him and want to know the reasons why and how to stop?
Perfect, you’re in the right place! In this PaperDating.com Guide, you’ll learn:
“Why Can’t I Stop Thinking About Him?” Bye Bye!
10 Reasons You Can’t Stop Thinking About Him
You’ve Met A New Guy And You Can’t Stop Thinking About Him Because You’re Infatuated
Have you just met a new guy? Or have you been dating a guy but it’s still in the early phases?
If so, it’s quite normal to think about him more than usual.
Everything is still fresh and the thought of him still excites you. You can’t stop thinking about this guy because you are still intrigued by him. You’re still learning the ins and outs of his personality and characteristics.
If this is your problem, just relax and enjoy the bliss of an early relationship. Most people after being with someone for quite some time see these moments as their best years. Often times they wish they could revisit them.
Read Also: 99 Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend
You Have A Crush On A Guy Who Is Already In A Relationship
Do you have a crush on a guy that you work with, go to church with or you see at the grocery store regularly?? etc. etc…?
Thinking about a guy who you have a crush on who is already in a relationship is quite a bummer.
In situations like these there are a couple of things that could be going on. You may enjoy how he looks at you and the conversations that the two of you have. But you want to respect his relationship and the fact that you even feel this way gives you a feeling of guilt. You want something that you know you can’t have and probably never will be able to have.
For some women this activates our competitive nature. For this reason, you will think of him regularly unless you do something stop it.
You’re Still In Love With Your Ex-Boyfriend
To stop thinking about an ex-boyfriend could be quite an emotional challenge.
While the relationship ended with a few spoken words or via text it’s not as easy to stop the feelings of love you may have. After all, love doesn’t dissolve overnight.
The good times and the future you all might have had remains, unfortunately.
You may also be in constant thought worrying yourself about what you possibly did wrong. Feelings of hurt occupy your mind. These are all unhealthy feelings. Continuing to think about him could prove detrimental to your future and you moving on.
You’re Neglecting Other Activities and Relationships
Did you know that you could be thinking about him a lot because you are not giving much thought to other things going on in your life anymore?
You’ve forgotten about your life before him. Like spending time with family/friends. Or you’ve put your work obligations on the backburner. Things that you once enjoyed that occupied space in your mind has now taken a backseat.
When someone new comes into your life it’s easy to be quite fascinated by them. They begin to consume your mind during free time, and at times when they normally wouldn’t. Like when you’re supposed to be focused on something else like a work assignment.
You’ve given your brain no other option but to think about him because you have shifted your focus solely on him.
You’re Thinking About How Things Could’ve Been Instead Of Moving On
When trying to move on from a previous relationship, the future that you and your ex HAD will cross your mind.
As a woman, it’s quite normal to look ahead to your future circumstances and possibilities.
You may have saw the two of you being financially stable together. The two of you raising a family and traveling the world. Now that you aren’t together any more the feeling that your future has now been shattered is a tough pill to swallow.
While the mental process of getting through this could be difficult, IT IS POSSIBLE. We explain how to get over him below in the next section.
Why Can’t I Stop Thinking About Him???
Boredom and Loneliness Have Struck
If you’re used to spending your free time with one person, being alone will cause you to think about him. As the saying goes “An idle mind is the devil’s playground.”
In this case it may not be the devil’s playground but something like recess for a child at school for your ex. Because you may be emotionally torn, all sorts of Memories start to run through your mind. You begin to think of a million scenarios from the past and what you could’ve done to change them for the better.
You See The Guy as a Challenge Because You Can’t Figure Him Out
Nothing stays on your mind more than something that you can’t figure out.
Not being able to figure out a guy you recently met raises a certain level of uncertainty. This uncertainty brings out the natural competitiveness and inquisitiveness that all humans embody. You feel uneasy. You want to conquer that thought and conquer him.
You want to know exactly what this guy likes and dislikes. With this knowledge you can appeal to him in a manner that would make him come running to you. “WILL YOU MARRY ME” is what you ultimately want to hear.
Your Mind is Playing Tricks on You
You may not be able to stop thinking about him because your mind is playing tricks on you. Let me give you a small practical example.
Have you ever saw a car that you wanted at a car lot or in a magazine? A car that you had never seen before in person? So you think…. Then after that, a couple days later as you drive down the road you start to notice that you see that car everywhere. Is it magic? NO.
This phenomenon is something in your brain called the Reticular Activating System (RAS). RAS is a system that tries to figure out what we deem important at the present time. Its job once it has done that is to filter out other things of less importance to shed light on what is.
At the time this guy is very important to you. So, your RAS begins to filter things out. All a sudden everything is reminding you of him. Certain smells remind you of him. Certain songs remind you of him. You walk past a guy in the grocery store and you notice that he wears the same cologne.
Your RAS (Your Mind) has effectively started to play tricks on you. Right now, there’s no need to fight this brain activity. Knowing why it is occurring should be enough to ease your nerves. It’s a normal occurrence.
Find Out If He’s The One For You: Is He The One?
Did You Know That It’s Possible That You Were Actually Addicted to Him?
For woman, being in love with a guy could carry the same addictive effects of highly addictive drugs, such as cocaine. Your infatuation with him stimulates your brain. Arousing chemicals in your body that make your brain feel good.
And what do we want when something feels good to us? If you said more, you’re CORRECT.
Your brain wants it more and more. Like the effects of sugar on your body.
The chemicals that activate are Adrenaline, Dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and vasopressin. All these chemical hormones will cause your brain to think about him. It doesn’t care that it’s hurting you or causing turmoil in your life. It wants that high.
You’re Trying Too Hard to Stop Thinking About Him
To stop thinking about a guy may at first seem like an easily accomplished task. “I will simply stop thinking about him, and every time he comes up in my mind, I will just remind myself to stop.” Easy Peasy!
But no. Unfortunately, trying to suppress your thoughts won’t work.
Anybody that has gone through this knows that this task could prove quite daunting. Most woman try to pocket their thoughts about a guy and think that’s enough to get him out of their head. That’s actually the most ineffectual way to stop thinking about someone.
When you attempt to do this, you will notice that you begin to think about him even more.
10 Things You Should Do When You Can’t Stop Thinking About Him
Don’t Actively Try to Push the Thought of Him Out of Your Mind
When you can’t stop thinking about a guy, trying to aggressively push him out of your head is the wrong thing to do. As stated above, doing this will only make you think of him more.
Try this out. For the next 10 seconds, try your best not to think about a Red Dog… 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Ok.
How did that work for you? Were you successful?
9 times out of 10 you weren’t. You probably thought about a red dog for 8 of the 10 seconds. It doesn’t work.
The way to get the guy who you can’t stop thinking about out of your head is to actually focus your attention elsewhere.
When you begin to think about him simply try thinking about something else. Or engage in a thought-provoking activity. Refocusing your thoughts instead of trying to tell them to stop is a far more effective strategy.
You Need to Take Some Time Away from Him
Taking time away from a guy you can’t stop thinking about is the most effective thing you can do initially. I mean, do you think you will stop thinking about someone that you are constantly hearing from or seeing?
To get the thought of him out of your head you need to go strictly “No Contact.” DO NOT START ANY COMMUNICATION. “No Contact” is when you cut all chances that you will have any type of contact with that person. This could mean blocking his phone number on your phone to prevent text and phone calls. Unfollowing or blocking all his social media accounts. You might even want to consider unfollowing mutual friends. At least the ones that could potentially post activity with him.
All these things are effective practices to use to get him out of your mind. They will also end your urge to reach out to him.
You definitely don’t want to come across as a stalker.
Start to do More with Your Life That Has Nothing to do With Him
If it’s an ex that’s on your mind you will need to reset your life. Now that you’re no longer with him you it’s time to find new activities to get involved in that interest you. Ideally, something you like to do that the two of you didn’t engage in together.
Simply directing your attention to a new hobby is enough to stop thinking about him.
Get Back on the Dating Scene
Now that the relationship is over it is time to hop back into the dating scene.
Join an online dating site or set up a night out on the town with the girls.
While out relax and be open to advances from other men. Maybe make a few connections. Communicating with a new guy could quickly eliminate the thoughts of your ex from your mind.
Research Self-Love and do Something About It
If you’re getting out of a relationship, chances are you have been sacrificing your well-being to please your ex-lover. And now that the relationship is over you may be feeling less than amazing. Cheated. Even a little low. All these feelings are an illusion and won’t stop you from thinking about him.
It’s time to refocus on yourself instead of him. Clear your mind and your thoughts and bathe yourself in praise.
Recount all your previous accomplishments. Recall how you felt when you accomplished them, no matter how big or small they were. You will realize a ton of things you should be grateful for and proud of.
Remind yourself of all the loving people who remain in your life besides your ex. Family and friends. You are still loved!
The weight and anguish you are carrying from your previous relationship are unnecessary and you don’t deserve it. In fact, you deserve better. Dust yourself off and begin your process of healing. Listen to woman empowerment audiobooks, get in tune with your spiritual side.
Anything that helps you regain confidence would be good to engage in at this time.
You Need Time Out To Re-Evaluate Your Life
When you can’t stop thinking about a guy, unconsciously you may be distracting yourself from problem areas in your life. To get him out of your head take some time and look at your life from a bird’s eye view. Re-evealuate your circumstances and make them better.
Be honest with yourself!
Were you supposed to go back to school last fall? Are your finances out of order? Are you still going after that promotion at work? Have you been neglecting family and friends? All these could be potential problems that you have overlooked.
Your obsession with him is the cause. Now is the perfect time to rebalance your life.
Distract yourself from thinking about him by focusing on yourself. When dating a guy or after breaking up its always important to keep your personal life goals in focus. And to continue to nourish the relationships you have with family and friends.
Simply focusing on your priorities in life that don’t involve him is enough to get him off your mind.
Forgive to Forget
After a breakup the last thing that we want to do is forgive the person that hurt us. But it’s the most important thing that we can do to move on.
Holding a grudge against someone makes the moving on process harder. It causes the hurt that was caused to stay on our mind.
To stop thinking about him you need to forgive him. That’s the first step to forgetting he ever existed. Because you won’t forgive him, those feelings will continue to consume your thoughts. They will begin to cause further damage and drag you down.
Solve your problem with love.
Spice Up Your Life… Do Something Different
It’s time to make some changes in your lifestyle and create some new habits. To stop thinking about him you will have to reinvent your environment. Sitting around doing the same ole things you did when you were together will only make you think about him more.
Visit a new coffee shop, Start a new activity or hobby. Exercise is great for relieving the brain of unwanted thoughts, so sign up at a new gym.
These changes will do wonders for you mentally. It will improve your chances of meeting new people and forming new relationships. Even meeting a new guy to go out with. This will require you to get out of your comfort zone a little but trust me, it will be well worth it.
Change the Terms of Your Friendships and Eliminate the Negative
Your friendships may have to change in order for you to stop thinking about him.
Your friends could be your worst enemy when trying to get over a guy. Even though they may have your best interest at heart.
Friends that like to discuss the bad things that are going on in their relationship and everybody else’s relationship have to go. Now is not the time for that type of negativity in your life. It will only cause you to think about the situation that you’re trying to get over.
So, you may have to distance yourself from them for some time. At least until you’re over your ex.
At the moment you need all the positive reinforcement you can get. Cut as much negativity out of your life as possible.
Stop Gossiping and Complaining About Him
Aside from eliminating your negative friends you will have to be upfront and transparent with the friends you decided to keep in your life.
Let them know that you will need the conversation to change. Tell them that you’re trying to stop thinking about him and would rather not hear any gossip or complaining about what he did or how things ended.
If they are your true friends, they shouldn’t have a problem with this request. They will be glad to help in your healing process.
Think the opposite of a perfect future
Often times we can’t stop thinking about a guy because we thought he was the perfect match. We can’t get over the fact that it’s over.
To ease this pain, you have to remove him from the pedestal that you placed him on. You must come to the realization that he wasn’t so perfect. His flaws hadn’t surfaced yet.
Be thankful that it ended when it did. Now you can move on and not waste anymore time!
You CAN Stop Thinking About Him Without Closure
Most women want closure at the end of a relationship but it’s seldom that you’ll get it.
Closure is an explanation of what went wrong or reasons why the relationship ended.
Woman seek it because we want to know what we did wrong so that we can fix the problem in the future or fix ourselves.
You can’t stop thinking about him because you never got an understanding of why everything ended. Why Didn’t he make you his girlfriend or wife?
We think that fixing what we did wrong in the relationship could lessen our chances of this happening to us in the future. What happens most times is we never get that closure, but we don’t need it to move on. We’re simply overthinking the situation.
When a relationship ends it rarely because of one or two simple reasons, unless you cheated of course. Most times it ended because many of things have added up to the point where one person doesn’t feel that fixing it is worth it. To sit and listen to all the reasons why it ended would not make you feel any better. It would probably just make you feel worse and overwhelmed.
So, try to move on and know that the relationship wasn’t meant to be.
Cut Out the Romantic Movies and Love Songs
Remember that love and romantic movies are most times fictional. You don’t want a fictional movie playing the strings of your real-life emotions do you? Especially emotions you’ve been trying to get rid of. And the music is about somebody else’s life situation and does not pertain to you.
Often times it’s hard for us not think about our own situations when listening to the situations of others.
Romantic movies and love songs will only cause you to replay the events of your previous relationship. Causing you to wallow in your tears when it’s obviously time to move on. That’s not what you need to stop thinking about him.
What we’re saying ladies is to watch what you intake mentally. Pay attention to your moods when watching the television and listening to the radio and don’t hesitate to change the dial if you start to feel down.
A lot of things may be hard to bear at the moment, but you’ll get through it and be back to normal. Broken Heart mended and the thought of him GONE.
Now That You Know What to Do, Do Something About It!
If you can’t stop thinking about him these suggestions and strategies should help you a lot.
Remember to be honest with yourself and your situation. Don’t overthink it. If it’s over its over and now is the time to move on. Moving on isn’t the easiest thing to do but with these tips on how to stop thinking about him you should be fine.
Just take it slow and don’t expect to be healed overnight. In due time he will be a thing of the past and you’ll be better than ever with endless possibilities for your future.